idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
