i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
