the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
