I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
