Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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