Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
