I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
