That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
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I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
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The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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