actually, I'm a sock model
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
