I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
