Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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