don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize