it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
