Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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