chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
