Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
