i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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