their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My friends, they love my intelligence
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
