Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
