I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
