i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
