I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
