Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
