when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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