wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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