I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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