Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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