I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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