The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
