u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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