ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
