wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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