Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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