Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Is Oprah even human
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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