so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
