she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
