What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
