Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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