I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
