so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
