i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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