Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
