i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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