Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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