Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
