i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
