Got a toothbrush?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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