he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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