I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
