the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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