Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
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We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
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My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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