9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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