Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
