How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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