Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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