its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
