so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
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I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
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They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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