My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
