My friends, they love my intelligence
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Sorry my hands just texted you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
