The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
