Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
